O’Brien’s “Speaking of Courage”

I like several of the stories in Tim O’Brien’s The Things They Carried. Although our experience of the war is quite different in some ways, we certainly share enough experiences to make the book a powerful reminder of old feelings and old regrets.

Before I picked up this book, the only thing I’d read by O’Brien was the short story “Speaking of Courage,” a story in the American Lit text I used for many years. It’s the story of a Vietnam Vet who spends a 4th of July driving around a lake in a small town obsessed that he was overcome with fear when he could have saved a friend, even though it’s clear his friend was already “dead” before he gave up trying to save him.

On one level, the story always reminded me of how the three teachers who were Vietnam Vets at Prairie would meet while patrolling the parking lot rather than going to the Veterans Day Assembly, which most often turned into a celebration of “patriotism” rather honoring those who had died. Most Vietnam veterans I know share that sense of “alienation,” whether because their war experiences set them off or because they felt rejected by their country after fighting a war most didn’t want to fight in the first place.

Interestingly enough, the story has been rewritten since its original publication. In a chapter entitled “Notes,” the narrator explains that the original story had been inspired by a long, wandering letter from one of the members of his platoon who wanted O’Brien to tell “his” story. Since there’s a disclaimer on the front page that reads, “This is a work of fiction. Except for a few details regarding the author’s own life, all the incidents, names, and characters are imaginary,” followed by a dedication to people whose names are used as “characters” in the stories the reader may well wonder how much of these stories is really “fiction.”

O’Brien writes:

I did not look on my work as therapy, and still don’t. Yet when I received Norman Bowker’s letter, it occurred to me that the act of writing had led me through a swirl of memories that might otherwise have ended in paralysis or worse. By telling stories you objectify your own experience. You separate it from yourself. You pin down certain truths. You make up others. You start sometimes with an incident that truly happened, like the night in the shit field, and you carry it forward by inventing incidents that did not in fact occur but that nonetheless help to clarify and explain.

One of the most compelling qualities of The Things They Carried is precisely this mixture of truth and fiction, the feeling that even if these stories were made up they are absolutely true. It’s the kind of power you feel in Ellison’s The Invisible Man or Pirsig’s Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Even when we suspect something’s probably not true in these works, we feel that it should have happened that way.

Illlustrator Ordinaire

For those who’ve been following my recent pictures, it should come as no shock that I’ve been spending the better part of the last two weeks learning Adobe Illustrator from Jeff Van West’s Illustrator CS (HOT).

I like the HOT series a lot when it comes to learning a new piece of software, and since I haven’t used Illustrator for several years, it certainly seems like I’m learning new software. The HOT series manages to do an effective job of teaching the basics while still teaching more advanced skills by the end of the book. You certainly don’t finish as a master of Illustrator, but you have gone step-by-step through the creation of an impressive project.

As I started using masks in Photoshop, I realized I needed to build my skills working with the pen and it’s associated tools, and there’s no better place to do that then Illustrator, the place where I started learning computer art programs. Truthfully, though, I was drawn back to Illustrator CS 2 because the program upgraded their tracing program, one that was woefully inadequate until the latest upgrade.

I’ve never really learned to draw on the computer, though I can still sketch fairly well on paper. My strong point is probably painting, particularly watercolors because I’ve had the most practice and training there, though I haven’t actually practiced the skills for years.

I’m not sure where this is all going, but I know that whatever I want to say is somehow tied to BOTH words and images, as I lack the skill necessary to really be effective in either. Where I may still be headed is Flash, an extraordinary tool for those proficient in it, one that, for me at least, offers a dramatic way to tie words and images together to deliver a powerful message.

As you can tell from the accompanying illustration, I’m about to take a few more baby steps in that direction.

Tiger’s Great

Like many of the people I visit regularly, I sprung for Tiger simply because I’m hooked on Macs. Though I can still buy at the educator’s discount because I’m a retired teacher, I think Tiger might have been worth the full amount this time.

So far, my favorite addition has been the ability of Safari to automatically discover RSS feeds for sites. It’s discovered at least ten or fifteen feeds that I couldn’t discover before; not only does it discover RSS feeds but it automatically adds them to NetNewsWire. I love it.

Another seldom-mentioned feature I love is the addition of the Oxford Dictionary at a system level, meaning that you can automatically look up any word you discover on a web site by selecting the text and clicking while holding down the control key. If the dictionary can’t find the word, you also have the ability to search Google using the same key commands.

While I’m not as impressed with Spotlight as some are, it has proven helpful in some of the searches I’ve conducted in trying to explore all the possibilities of Tiger.

Finally, “smart” mailboxes have proven to be real time saver while using Mail. I’ve only set up a few new mailboxes, but they have proven helpful in finding what I want to find in the shortest amount of time possible.

I Hate Paypal

It’s nice to know that Paypal is trying to protect my account and my credit card number, but these people are technological IDIOT SAVANTS!!

Yes, they’re smart enough to know I’ve changed my email account, duh. Hasn’t everybody who used ATT changed their account? Yes, they’re smart enough to let me change my email account, IF they can call and verify the change.

They’re even smart enough to know that my VISA account number goes with an old email address and phone number.

Apparently, though, they’re not smart enough to know that people MOVE, and when they move they often change their internet provider and their phone number. SHOCKING!!!

I wanted to buy a simple five dollar chapbook recommended by Ron Sillman today, but, after spending a half hour trying to purchase it through Paypal I’ve decided I already have enough poetry books.

In order to update my PayEnemy account I apparently have to gather up several documents I no longer have and fax them to them so they can send me update information via snail mail. FAX?

Wouldn’t it just be easier to check with my VISA card provider and find out I’d moved? How hard could that be? How long could that take? Nobody else seems to have a problem doing that. Do you think they might list a phone number somewhere obvious so you could talk to a real person?

Like I said, IDIOT SAVANTS, call them PayEnemy.

Don’t let your friends use Paypal. Suggest KAGI, instead.