Pursuing Beauty

In the last month or two as I’ve walked the Nisqually National Wildlife Refuge I’ve noted a small, yellow-orange butterfly, an Orange Sulphur, as it turns out, flit back and forth in front of me. Try as I might, though, I’ve not been able to get a picture of it, even with my 400mm telephoto.

My luck changed dramatically this week, as I got shot after shot, even though I had to use the 400mm telephoto I was carrying for birding. If I’d had any idea there was going to be so many and that they were going to be so calm, or distracted, I would have brought my macro lens and got even better shots. As it was, I often found myself having to back away from a butterfly that had landed at my feet because my telephoto couldn’t focus that close.

Here’s the best of twenty or so shots I took:

At first I thought that perhaps the sudden lack of birds, even song birds, might account for their tendency to totally ignore me to the point of nearly landing at my feet.

After I saw these two chase each other through the flowers, though,

I suspected that it was probably different passions that drove them, and they no longer cared who I was or what I was about. Who could blame them, considering that they seemed to be pursuing the same beauty that I had futilely pursued much of the summer.

Better Than a Day at the DMV

Birds, particularly new birds, continue to be scarce at Nisqually National Wildlife Refuge. Though frustrating, it allows me to become more familiar with old friends.

The most common birds continue to be crows, starlings, gulls, and Great Blue Herons, probably in that order. Starlings and gulls don’t interest me, and I’m waiting for the long “grey� season around here to try to get some decent crow pictures because invariably all the feather detail is lost in a smudge of black when I shoot them in sunshine. The GBH is certainly the easiest to photograph, the most photogenic,

and I’d like to think my photographs of them are improving. However, I’ve taken so many shots of them by now I’m afraid “better� is a relative word. Still, this shot reminds me of the Tai Chi forms I’ll be practicing in class and perhaps suggests a dynamic awareness I’m trying to cultivate in myself.

While sitting in a photo blind waiting for a new variety of duck that never appeared, I began to realize that Mallard behavior and human behavior may not be that different.

This Mallard drake spent nearly an hour preening himself, puffing up his breast, quaking loudly, and often, and generally showing what a handsome fellow he really was. You see how impressed the females were, right? Perhaps they took some small comfort in knowing their boisterous neighbor would probably draw the fire of any nearby hunters as they went about the business of getting a meal.

The local Belted Kingfisher continued his game of hide-and-seek, too, landing nearby just as I was about to leave. Naturally I had to stop and try to get a better picture of him. While this one is actually further away than last week’s shot, it seems clearer and the kingfisher has more expression:

I suspect he’s razzing me that I’ll never manage to get a decent picture, a point he emphasized by diving into the pond and spearing a fish, most of which took place behind the shrubs while I tried to move to get a better shot.

Some days we just have to satisfy ourselves with the fact that we spent half a day playing outside in the sunshine while others sat inside a dingy DMV office renewing their driver’s license. I’m okay with that.

Levertov’s “Life at War”

According to Paul Lacey the second section of Denise Levertov Selected Poems is the section when “she is most overtly, but never exclusively, political in her writing, most torn by doubts about her poetic vision, given over to grief at loss of her sister and her mother and when her marriage ends.” Little wonder, then, that some of these poems tend to be depressing, convincingly so, in fact.

I think I’ve noted that I don’t particularly like anti-war poems and will continue to believe slogans like “Poets Against the War” are relatively meaningless until someone can actually produce a group of poets who are for the war. Poetry by its very nature seems opposed to all that war represents.

That said, I love Levertov’s,

Life at War

The disasters numb within us
caught in the chest, rolling
in the brain like pebbles. The feeling
resembles lumps of raw dough

weighing down a child’s stomach on baking day.
Or Rilke said it, ‘My heart . . .
Could I say of it, it overflows
with bitterness . . . but no, as though

its contents were simply balled into
formless lumps, thus
so I carry it about.’
The same war

continues.
We have breathed the grits of it in, all our lives,
our lungs are pocked with it,
the mucous membrane of our dreams
coated with it, the imagination
filmed over with the gray filth of it:

the knowledge that humankind,

delicate Man, whose flesh
responds to a caress, whose eyes
are flowers that perceive the stars,

whose music excels the music of birds,
whose laughter matches the laughter of dogs,
whose understanding manifests designs
fairer than the spider’s most intricate web,

still turns without surprise, with mere regret
to the scheduled breaking open of breasts whose milk
runs out over the entrails of still-alive babies,
transformation of witnessing eyes to pulp-fragments,
implosion of skinned penises into carcass-gulleys.

We are the humans, men who can make;
whose language imagines mercy,
lovingkindness; we have believed one another
mirrored forms of a God we felt as good—

who do these acts, who convince ourselves
it is necessary; these acts are done
to our own flesh; burned human flesh
is smelling in Viet Nam as I write.

Yes, this is the knowledge that jostles for space
in our bodies along with all we
go on knowing of joy, of love;

our nerve filaments twitch in its presence
day and night,
nothing we say has not the husky phlegm of it in the saying,
nothing we do has the quickness, the sureness,
the deep intelligence living at peace would have
.

which may well be the greatest anti-war poem ever written.

I suspect I would have to read an awful lot of poetry to find a truer statement of the effect that a lifetime of war has had upon me than this poem. Born after the beginning of World War II, most of my life has been spent during wars, including my own experiences in Vietnam.

The fourth stanza’s “gray film” reminds me of Roethke’s powerful poem “Dolor” where the similar lines “Dropping a fine film on nails and delicate eyebrows,/ Glazing the pale hair, the duplicate grey standard faces” appear. It’s hard to imagine who we might be if we hadn’t spent our lives living through war after war, constantly bombarded with the latest news and pictures of the worst degradation man can inflict on each other.

When I was in Vietnam, I used to wonder what sort of black magic had transported me from college where I read poetry and watched pretty girls walk across campus to a land where everyone wanted to kill me and the only girls I knew were prostitutes forced to sell their bodies to survive.

How can someone who truly “believed one another/mirrored forms of a God” justify such actions? If we are made in God’s image, does that make God as ruthless and uncaring as most of us were who were trapped in that nightmare?

Do boys’ voices become deeper when they become men precisely because “nothing we say has not the husky phlegm of it in the saying?”

If you’re really interested in exploring this poem in more depth, Modern American Poetry has twenty five pages of comments on this and related poems. I actually printed the whole section out, and once I’ve finished writing here will spend some time reading it.

Levertov’s “The Prayer”

Paul Lacey, editor of Denise Levertov Selected Poems suggests that Levertov’s poetry can be divided into three phases, the first phase being “the period when she was praised by the greatest number of critics for her ‘sacramental’ and celebratory vision, and when she is most obviously influenced by Williams and learning American speech.”

Most of Levertov’s early poems I like focus on the nature of poetry or the appeals of the human body. Though few of her poems would probably be described as erotic by most readers, I found a number of them strangely so. Though this poem is certainly not erotic, it describes the human body and its feeling in an immediate, concrete style.

“The Prayer” suggests an ambiguity that most artists must have felt at one time or another for their “calling:”

The Prayer

At Delphi I prayed
to Apollo
that he maintain in me
the flame of the poem

and I drank of the brackish
spring there, dazed by the
gong beat of the sun,
mistaking it,

as I shrank from the eagle’s
black shadow crossing
that sky of cruel blue,
for the Pierian Spring–

and soon after
vomited my moussaka
and then my guts writhed
for some hours with diarrhea

until at dusk
among the stones of the goatpaths
breathing dust
I questioned my faith, or

within it wondered
if the god mocked me.
But since then, though it flickers or
shrinks to a

blue bead on the wick,
there’s that in me that
burns and chills, blackening
my heart with its soot,

flaring in laughter, stinging
my feet into a dance, so that
I think sometimes not Apollo heard me
but a different god.

Apollo, of course, is the god of poetry and music, and prophesy, and had much appeal to the Romantic poets, so it’s not surprising that Levertov was drawn to his shrine.

The appeal of the poem, though, is the unexpected reaction to drinking from the holy spring. Instead of the expected “enlightenment,” the narrator gets violently ill, so physically ill that she questions her faith, though whether it’s her faith in magical springs or in her poetic talent is never quite clear.

This event transitions nicely into the larger question of whether the narrator’s poetic talent is a gift of the Gods or the gift of the Devil. Though I’ve never had talent enough to feel driven by it, much less tortured by it, I know a desire to say something can haunt you, driving you to ignore things you shouldn’t and pursue things best left alone, as I’m sure Leslie will testify to.