Reading This Too this morning reminded me how easy it is to bring your old self with you when you finally manage to move to a new place, fully intending to leave the old self behind.
Even in the best of situations, not that I’ve ever been in such a situation, I suspect that no matter how fast or how far you’ve come once you stop you’ll discover much to dismay that your old self is right there with you.
My latest obsession is trying to get a picture of the elusive blue jay,
the one that despite nearly a week and a half and fifty plus pictures I still haven’t taken a picture I’m really satisfied with.
In trying to do so, I almost totally ignored the
moon that was merely a few degrees away from the Jay who demanded attention with his loud scolding.
Even worse, I nearly missed the miracle of
the small hummingbird suspended in mid-air simply because I already had a shot I was satisfied with.
If I’m not careful the delightful awareness bird watching has generated in me will be lost to the old self that drove me in the past, the one that constantly needed something I didn’t have, something I desperately needed to be happy until I had it and found that it really wasn’t what I needed after all, that it, like most of what I owned, was just one more burden to bear in a world already overburdened with possessions. I have to constantly remind myself that the point isn’t to get a “trophy” picture, well at least not the main point, but simply to enjoy the moment as fully as possible.