So That’s Why I’ve Been Feeling Sick

I’ve been feeling fair to middling tired lately and couldn’t really account for it. If the doctor’s right, it turns out I have probably had bronchitis and possibly a sinus infection the last few weeks from my brush with the flu or a cold passed on by one of the grandkids three weeks ago. Of course, if I’d gone to the doctor a long time ago like Leslie urged, I probably would have been over this by now.

But, no, I decided to wait until yesterday when I almost didn’t make it back from my walk. After walking out about a mile and half I was so exhausted that I had to drop to my knees for several minutes before I could gain enough breath to make it home. The thought crossed my mind that I might actually not be able to make it home. Well, I doubt life would be worth living without my walks. That’s all the motivation I needed to start making calls to physicians friends have recommended.

I was surprised that the first three doctors I called weren’t taking new patients. Has that become common in the last few years? I’ve had one doctor for the last twenty years, so maybe it’s not a new phenomena. Whether it is or not, though it seems like a worrisome sign to me. Does that mean that there are so few physicians practicing that only the new ones are taking new patients?

While at the doctor’s office I was given both a flu shot and a pneumonia shot. I was somewhat hesitant to take the flu shot because I consider myself relatively healthy, though this is the first time I can ever remember getting bronchitis from a cold or the flu. Still, my throat cancer surgery has made me particularly prone to pneumonia and lung problems, and I started getting a flu shot right after I had the surgery. However, I still felt guilty about taking the shot. I would hate to think that I might be responsible for an infant dying from the flu because I had gotten one instead of them. It’s certainly not a comfortable position to be put into. Nor one that we should have to be put into.

I’ve been thinking about the flu vaccine and medicines in general for quite awhile now and hope to post an article tomorrow morning on the subject if the new medication kicks in. Needless to say, it’s the answer I had hoped that Kerry would have made when asked that question in the debate tonight rather than the one he did make.

Frost’s “Dust of Snow”

Despite containing the famous “Stoping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening,” Frost’s New Hampshire contains poems that are quite different from those in earlier sections. In some ways these poems about Paul Bunyun’s wife and famous New England witches remind me of Carl Sandburg’s, though I prefer Sandburg’s. Though “Wild Grapes” would certainly make an interesting comparison to “Birches,” I found it difficult to maintain interest in far too many of the poems.

Perhaps that’s the reason I was so delighted with:

DUST OF SNOW

The way a crow
Shook down on me
The dust of snow
From a hemlock tree

Has given my heart
A change of mood
And saved some part
Of a day I had rued.

The remarkable simplicity of this poem stood in startling contrast to the long narrative poems that preceded it, reminding me of the haiku I spent much of the summer studying.

Of course, it’s greatest appeal is that this is precisely the same kind of feeling I sometimes feel when I go for a walk after a stressful day, and, of course, it doesn’t hurt that crows and snow are also two of my favorites. Nor does the nearly perfect rhyme hurt.

Strangely enough, two pages later there’s another beautiful poem:

NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

This one reminds me alot of the Japanese concept of mono no aware, the awareness of the impermanence of all beauty. Subtly Frost reveals how this natural truth also is true of mankind’s efforts. Every “Golden Age” seems doomed to be followed by a “Dark Age.”

Frost’s “Bond and Free”

Although arguably not as good as more famous poems like “The Road Not Taken,” “Birches,” or “Out, Out” in Mountain Interval, “Bond and Free” still manages to intrigue me:

BOND AND FREE

Love has earth to which she clings
With hills and circling arms about–
Wall within wall to shut fear out.
But Thought has need of no such things,
For Thought has a pair of dauntless wings.

On snow and sand and turn, I see
Where Love has left a printed trace
With straining in the world’s embrace.
And such is Love and glad to be
But Thought has shaken his ankles free.

Thought cleaves the interstellar gloom
And sits in Sirius’ disc all night,
Till day makes him retrace his flight
With smell of burning on every plume,
Back past the sun to an earthly room.

His gains in heaven are what they are.
Yet some say Love by being thrall
And simply staying possesses all
In several beauty that Thought fares far
To find fused in another star.

By setting “Love” and “Thought” as opposites, Frost forces us to see both of them, but particularly love, in new ways. He sets up the poem by contrasting what is generally seen as a negative aspect of Love, the fear and clinging, with the positive side of Thought, the fearless exploration of new possibilities. While most readers would not want to think of love as “clinging” because of its negative connotations, in a very real sense all love does hold to one thing, to the object loved, whether person or a place. Thought is not bound to one object; it wanders freely constantly examining new possibilities.

Love must reveal itself in concrete ways, in earthly way. Thought need not be tied to the world. Abstract thought is ethereal, reaching out to places no man has never gone before. Unbound by earthly restraints, it can envision endless joy and passion, though in a avery real sense they are imaginary, not real.

For me, the most interesting line in the poem is “Love by being thrall/ And simply staying possesses all,” with it’s implication that Love is a more powerful moral force than the individual himself. Love binds us to itself, and in doing so brings us a “beauty” that Thought can only observe in others. The ties that bind need not be merely restraints but, rather, links to a new- found source of energy.

Let’s Kick Down Some Walls

The first poem you encounter when reading “North of Boston” is the much-anthologized “Mending Wall,” and as I read it I thought to myself, “I hope I find a poem that I like better than this to write about.”

It’s not that I don’t like the poem. I liked it when I first read it over thirty years ago, and I still like it today. However, I really don’t want to discuss something everyone has already read. Although I liked the next poem, “The Death of the Hired Man,” another popular poem and I considered discussing it instead, I realized I didn’t like it nearly as well. To make a long story not so short, after reading 80 more pages of poetry I couldn’t find another poem that I liked nearly as well as “Mending Wall.”

I’m convinced that Frost knew it was the best poem in this section and purposely put it at the beginning, just as he begins the next section with the even more famous “The Road Not Taken.” Like a good recording artist, Frost knew his “hit singles” and used them to his advantage.

Hopefully, you, like me, haven’t read the poem in awhile and re-reading it brings new insights or at least reacquaints you with values that are important to you:

MENDING WALL

Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it
And spills the upper boulder in the sun,
And make gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there,
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
“Stay where you are until our backs are turned!”
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of outdoor game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, “Good fences make good neighbors.”
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
“Why do they make good neighbors? Isn’t it
Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I’d ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offense.
Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That wants it down.” I could say “Elves” to him,
But it’s not elves exactly, and I’d rather
He said it for himself. I see him there,
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me,
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father’s saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, “Good fences make good neighbors.”

I must admit that time and my image of Frost as a curmudgeonly New Englander had distorted my memory of the poem, leaving me with little more than that famous line “Good fences make good neighbors.” Somehow I managed to forget that Frost is, afterall, a “modern” poet with a modern view of life. In other words, like most modern poets his poems tend to be multi-dimensional and ambiguous.

Although it’s clear that the neighbor he’s working with to rebuild the fence feels that a strong fence is the best way to stay friendly, it’s not at all clear that the narrator feels the same. When the narrator suggests there’s no need to repair the fence between the apple orchard and pine trees, the neighbor’s only reply is, “Good fences make good neighbors.” Mischievously, the narrator asks the “big” question, why? Asking whether a fence isn’t apt to “give offense” to a neighbor rather than convert them into a good neighbor. No matter how hard he’s pushed the neighbor will not go beyond “his father’s saying.” Our final image of the neighbor is captured in the stark image, “In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed. He moves in darkness”” His blind obedience to the past makes him little more than an unthinking savage.

The more interesting character in the poem, though, is the narrator himself. On the surface, he seems more enlightened than his simple-minded neighbor, but strangely enough he continues year after year to rebuild the very wall that he feels is unnecessary. It is, after all, the narrator who, “let my neighbor know beyond the hill” when it was time to mend walls again. At the very least, then, he is complicit in maintaining the old beliefs. Though he claims to see rebuilding the wall as just “another kind of outdoor game, / One on a side” he “plays the game,” does what’s expected, and, in doing so, probably remains a member in “good standing” in his community.

The real question, of course, is whether it makes him any less of “an old-stone savage” than his neighbor. Or is he worse than his neighbor because he knows better and still goes along with it, adding hypocrisy to his savagery? How many of us personally question old, conservative ideas yet go along with them because it’s easier that way, and, besides, we don’t want to offend friends or family?