My first reaction when reading Jonathan’s response to my response on “sentimentality” was to assure him that I, too, hold many “depressing” novels in high regard. After all, I switched from being a physics major at the University of Washington to a literature major after being swept away by Thomas Hardy’s melancholic view of the world my senior year in high school. In some weird, romantic way I felt that Hardy offered more hope of finding the ultimate truths that lay at the heart of this puzzling universe than the alchemy of modern science.
As my comment on his site began to exceed the length of his entry, I decided that my own blog was probably the most appropriate place for a reply, especially since I still haven’t finished that great romantic novel of the 20th century, Catch-22.
I must admit I’m a little surprised by my own actions in defending the word and by my reaction to be labeled a “sentimentalist” after defending the word. I have enough college to realize that being “cynical,” or at least “ objective” is cool, so one side of me doesn’t want to be classified as being overly sentimental.
However, reassured by Jeff’s analysis of the word and after giving it more thought, it seems to me that the only problem with “sentimentality” is not recognizing it as such. To me, occasionally indulging in sentimentality is a part of being a healthy person.
Personally, I worry about friends who aren’t sentimental about their childhood, their children’s childhood, or their grandchildren. You’re supposed to be sentimental about these things, for God’s sake. Does anyone really think you’re supposed to be totally objective about your children? And grandchildren? You’d have to be a real Scrooge not to occasionally indulge the temptation to spoil grandchildren, wouldn’t you?
On the other hand, I’m all too aware some people’s childhoods are so bleak that there is nothing to be sentimental about. But I worry most about friends like this for it’s difficult to ever totally recover from the damage done in those years. One of my favorite students had been sexually abused by her father, and years later she seemed incapable of finding a man who would do anything but mistreat her. It was almost as if she was doomed to forever confirm her vision of abusive men. Unfortunately, she is but one of many whose lives have been forever besmirched by a miserable childhood or abusive parents. This is, in fact, my greatest worry about all the children being indoctrinated with hatred in Israel and Palestine. I wonder if they will ever be able to transcend their hatred and find anything like a lasting peace.
I find it preferable to see the world through rosy glasses rather than condemning myself to a life of misery. Of course, it’s probably wise, and certainly necessary, to realize when you’re indulging in sentimentality. For instance, there may well be few things less dangerous than a parent who comes into a parent conference thinking her child can do no wrong. Parents who lack any objectivity are more likely to end up damaging their child than helping him when faced with unpleasant realities.
On the other hand, parents who used to come into parent conferences bad-mouthing their child’s behavior always pissed me off far more than those who mistakenly stood up for everything their child did. It often didn’t take more than a moment to realize what the child’s real problem was and to realize how difficult it was going to be for that child to overcome the negative emotions his parents instilled in him.
The real tragedy of such situations is that once a person denies the possibility that they are a good person and that they can do good things, there is little likelihood that they will do those things. Far better to error on the side of optimism and the belief that you can change the world if you try.
I don’t mind being called a romantic and a liberal, and I guess I don’t mind being called “sentimental,” because ultimately I still believe in the ability of humans to transcend their lot in life and to create a world where all people have the right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” though I’m pragmatist enough to realize we haven’t yet found the means of insuring those rights here in America, much less in the world, and cynic enough to distrust those who wrap their own agenda in these words.
Come Back Mark Wood, Wherever You Are
I’m probably going to miss Mark Wood more than most bloggers. It is he, after all, who actually inspired me to start blogging. His constant flow of outstanding discoveries on the web convinced me that the web was worth the effort that it takes to write daily.
Mark Wood, Euan Semple, Steve Laidlaw of Riley Dog, S.J. Green of Nutlog, errr, Plep, and Whiskey River were the first people to link to my site. Without their inspiration I would never have continued to put the effort into this site that I do.
I’ll have to save my best writing until Mark comes back for I’ve only considered it my best writing when Mark linked to it.
It’s been exactly a year ago today that I started this blog, and it continues to evolve. Maybe that’s why I’m stiil enthusiastic about it, as I have a tendency to get bored once I have "mastered something." I’m in the midst of starting a new blog at a new ISP employing Moveable Type, thanks to the urging of Jonathon and the help of Jeff Ward.
I ran into some problems with setting permissions at my new ISP. In mid-stream I discovered that Adobe GoLive actually sets permissions whenever you transmit a file. It just does it without letting you know. I actually discovered this accidentally. To make a long story short, Benjamin Trott of Moveable Type has done a superb job of holding my hand until I could solve the problems with my site. I can’t believe how much he had to put up with to install my program for a mere $20. I now have a site up and running and can start experimenting with the design of the program.
Right now I’m simply trying to figure out how to change columns so that main entries show up on the right, as they do here. I’m not sure why, but this just seems to me the way it should look. Right now I’ve set the end of the month as the date that I will have to complete the move to my site.
If I don’t set a date, I’ll just let it slide. For awhile at least, I’ll be posting at both sites. I imagine it will take awhile to move all my old files for the last year to the new site.
Still, I’m excited about the new program and looking forward to having comments and the ability to do RSS feeds.
Great Service
I’ve been very impressed with the help provided by Benjamin Trott in finally getting this blog running on Moveable Type.
I had alot of problems with signing in on my new ISP and Ben stuck with me to get the page up and running.
That’s way too much work for $20, but it made a believer out of me. I don’t think you could go wrong having them set up the site for you.
Thanks.
Just Call Me Sentimental, Right Dawn?
The other day I suggested in the comments on Jonathan Delacour’s site that most people have positive feelings, or positive connotations, associated with the word “sentimentality.” My main point was that because a word like “sentimentality” generally has positive connotations rather than negative connotations that applying that word to another situation with negative connotations is likely to lead to unnecessary arguments and confusion. It’s best to switch to a synonym that doesn’t have such connotations.
Generally, we are "sentimental" about the things we most desire in life, precisely because we do desire them. For most people they are a goal, not necessarily a realistic expectation.
In my discussion, I suggested that most people are sentimental about things like Christmas and Thanksgiving, even though they’re aware their expectations are probably unrealistic. A good example of that would be my favorite Christmas movie “A Christmas Story” where the boy with the amusingly dysfunctional family still fulfills his dream and receives a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas. Another example might be “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” where everything possible goes wrong because the father wants to do too much, but the Christmas spirit still somehow survives.
Jonathon suggests the role of art is to show the truth about life, to strip away sentimentality, but I would argue that revealing the “truth” in this sense is only one aspect of art. An equally important role is to show what life “can be,” to hold up models of what we want our lives to become.
Despair is obviously a part of everyone’s life. The truth, though, is that my own life has been as much joy as angst. For instance, as a child my parents fought to overcome poverty, and I only got toys once a year, at Christmas. My mother even gleaned and cracked walnuts most of the year so we could have Christmas presents.
Looking back I can certainly remember many disappointing Christmases because my expectations were too high. After all, what child would be overjoyed at receiving his year’s supply of socks wrapped up as gifts? I didn’t know that that we were "poor." I just wanted the same toys my friends got, poor or not. For some reason, eating often came ahead of toys.
However, I still have fond memories of receiving the Fort Apache that became my favorite toy, and, later, the Lionel train that I can still hear running downstairs every Christmas Eve. Is it surprising, then, that I’m still sentimental about Christmas and have gone out of my way to make Christmas as special for my children and grandchildren as it was for me?
So, what’s more “real,” the years when I was disappointed that I didn’t get the perfect gift that I was longing for, or the years when I did get those presents that I still remember years later? Are the years I remember any less “real” than the ones where I was disappointed?
I would argue that both are real, and both are the domain of the true artist. The artist does not have to choose one or the other to be an “artist,” though contemporary art critics certainly seem to have come down on the side of angst and despair. Emphasizing one at the expense of the other, though, seems to be a distortion of reality, a distortion of truth, whatever that might be.