Recently Im having problems getting motivated enough to write blog entries. I could blame that on the fact that Im having trouble even accessing my page since my ISP has gone wonky the last week. I could even blame it on the fact that I spend much of my online time yesterday following Jonathons links to the Briggs-Meyers test.
I could blame it on the fact that I finally succumbed to MacWarehouses sixty-two dollar discount on OS 10.2 and Ive spent some time fiddling with that. Or that I just bought Heroes IV and have had to spend some time relearning battle techniques.
If for no other reason, I could blame it on the third cold that Ive picked up in the last two months.
I could even blame it on this hyper Australian shepherd that insists its time to throw him the Frisbee every time the sun happens to reappear in the rainy Northwest. And its sunnier than usual here. It appears that the South has gotten our share of snow. Even the ski areas here are barren.
Of course, I could also blame it on the fact that Ive suddenly realized that Christmas is close and I still havent bought a single present or made a single cookie, and income tax classes have resumed and Leslie has suddenly decided that we need to remodel the house to be ready for the expected Christmas rush of friends and relatives.
In reality, though, its mostly that Im stuck on Conquistador a one-hundred-page-long MacLeish poem. Ive convinced myself that I would study every poem in his Collected Poems, and Im not going to be defeated by a long poem (even though, unlike Jeff Ward, I hate long poems). Unfortunately, the poem also focuses on Mexican history, naturally considering the title, and that itself is presenting a major barrier as I know little or nothing about Mexican history. I consistently find it ironic that we Americans teach so little about American history, at least when considering the Americas geographically. I know far more about Roman history, and certainly more about European history, than I do about the history of our neighbors to the north and the south.
Amazingly, or perhaps not-so amazingly, the web is not helping me much in identifying people mentioned in the poem. Ive gotten so that I rely on the web to identify names or places I dont recognize, but so far my search has generally only turned up sites written in Spanish, and, no matter what anyone tells you, dont rely on automatic translation to render anything at all meaningful.
I will finish the poem despite all the distractions and have it up shortly (not that I expect anyone else living to have ever read the poem or to be in the least interested). Still, this is my web site and Im on my own mission of self-discovery, and, if nothing else, I suppose this says something important about my addictive personality (cant ever get enough of that pain thing).